Last night I experienced my baby’s first fever; I’m really looking forward to when I experience a positive first. The first smile, the first laugh, the first time she sleeps through the night, even the first tooth though it may require some pain & tears will have a visible rewarding result; all my angel’s firsts thus far have been suffering without reward.
I know the fever was a reaction to her first inoculations on Monday, and I know they are 100% necessary no matter what the uneducated, not-doctors may believe; but neither of those facts lessen the dangers of a fever or the terror those dangers instill. The actual experience of the inoculations was terrible. The thought alone of signing off on something that hurts my baby goes against every instinct, even when I know it is for her own good. Sister Stella suggested I feed her while she gave her the shots, my heart literally jumps into my throat even now as I see in my mind her little face crumple as the stinging of the vaccine reached her. I felt ill the rest of the day, a combination of extreme guilt & straight pain for her pain.
She was very irritable yesterday evening & eventually felt hot to the touch. I went straight for the baby Panado as instructed & within an hour her temperature had dropped. The relief was palpable. I still woke every hour to check on her & take her temperature just in case, but it remained in the low 36s. I have no idea how mommies who have to deal with serious fevers regularly cope! My nerves are shot!
Inoculations are not a choice any parent should have the option to make, the only choice for your child (& everybody else’s children you expose your child to) is to protect them – that is your job as a parent. I understand the debate if you don’t have a child, theoretical arguments are a way to stretch yourself & learn and grow; but once you have a child, once you’ve experienced their pain as a very real thing, choosing to risk their lives is unfathomable.
I have no interest in stirring up the ire of people with too much time & too little knowledge. Suffice it to say, I believe every child has the right to be protected from diseases that hurt enough people to inspire research into prevention. And if they create an inoculation that will protect my baby from getting cancer or AIDS one day, I will give those to her too. And yes, it is the same thing.
I find it amazing that before I had Charly I had half formed opinions on so many things; I was smug in my knowledge & my right to believe whatever I liked. Even when I was pregnant, I had my opinions but nothing was set in stone, I could be persuaded by any good educated argument, as was the case with being impartial on delivery methods. It is easy to have an opinion when you don’t have to deal with the consequences of those opinions; an opinion without action is an annoyance, with action it is a whole other animal.
What started out as a post on feeling helpless in the face of a first fever turned a little political in the end, but I guess I needed to say something more. This is what happens when you start writing a blog post at 3am on your phone.
I have only the final wrap up paragraphs left to write on the c-section post, so all things going well it should go up before Friday. I hope I haven’t offended too many people with this post, I’m not a person looking to start a heated debate. In fact I am terribly likely to avoid engaging in any conversations on the matter, I feel no compulsion to defend my opinions on the topic or on the people… on the side of angels and all that. Happy Tuesday everybody x