This past week was so full and so empty of sleep, it all feels a little distant and full of blank spaces. But I feel like we need an update on where we’re at right now so you don’t all forget me! The next two weeks will be full of posts for you from My Favourite Things, to an awesome campaign I missed out on, to an Easter giveaway with one of my favourite brands, to one that might ruffle some feathers (but MAN I have a bee in my bonnet that needs to be let out), and also Charly’s birthday party post. All that for later, but for right now…
Let’s start with Charly, where all things begin! I did mention some of this in her second birthday post, but in case you missed it. As I am sure you guessed from the opening line, miss C is responsible for the empty of sleep week. Her molars are coming out – ALL at once!! One is through, one has been trying to cut for 3 weeks already and the top two have just started. My baby is suffering terribly, even with the Prodol and even through the Stopayne at night. She cries all night, even in her sleep, so there is absolutely no chance of me sleeping. It is so awful to see her suffering like this!
This past week has also been really hard for her on the separation front. The week before last I was seriously considering sending her to school 5 mornings a week, she was so very happy and excited every morning. This week, not so much. Well, she was still excited to go to school, even jumping up an down in her car seat when we pull up at the school; but the second we walk in she folds herself into me and the tears just stream. It is KILLING me! They send me videos of her in the morning, playing and dancing and having the best time, and she is happy when I fetch her and tells us about her day; but still the next morning is the same. So, I don’t think it is school, it is just not wanting to be away from me. Not even a little easier though. I’m sure it will pass when these horrid teeth finally finish torturing her.
The teething also makes her quite sensitive and tearful in the day, and aggro with us at home. Basically she is behaving like a mini-teenager, with all the high pitched screaming, playing adults off against each other and bursting into tears over every other thing. I am not looking forward to having a “threenager” or an actual teen.
As always, it is balanced by incredible sweetness, love and cuteness. I am getting so much love, stroking, kissing, leg hug attacking and butterfly kissing it melts me into mush. The singing and dancing in the stretches as she makes her way from tears to tantrum is adorable. She is going through phases of daddy only love, which is just amazing to watch. When daddy and her get into a cuddle fest or tell joint stories or play their crazy rough-and-tumble games, it literally makes me want to burst with love. As cliche as it is, she is suddenly growing up SO fast! I’m not sure I am ready for it.
Onto me. Other than tired, I am doing fairly well. I am working incredibly hard across all my businesses, and loving the things I am doing right now, and I am excited about the projects on the horizon.This little space of mine is growing, I am getting to work with some of my favourite brands again this year and a whole lot of new ones that I can’t wait to introduce you to.
The writing and editing work is on track and I am really looking forward to writing up a new case study for one of my clients. Case Studies are my favourite, they take a lot of patience and back and forth, BUT there is something awesome about sharing a client’s success and knowing you are working with a brand that really makes a difference in their clients’ worlds – no matter what industry they are in!
I am really looking forward to doing more brand consulting this year. I have a meeting on Tuesday that I am really looking forward to. Their business does so much good and I am so excited to help them clear up their branding and help them do that even better. I am also doing a bit of brand consulting as part of my current Tums 2 Tots Online Directory listing packages; not just giving buisinesses listing space, but reviewing their businesses and providing them with a little guidance as to where they can maximise things a little, and also helping them get a bit of PR through the magazine. Overall, loving being able to help small businesses present themselves a little more comprehensively.
And then of course Tums 2 Tots Online. Guys, this project is just so incredibly exciting for me. Firstly, I am LOVING working with so many amazing writers and brands. The quality of writing and expert experienced advice I am able to offer to parents makes me incredibly happy. The directory I have already chatted about some, but to reiterate that it really feeds into my ability to use my PR and Marketing experience to help build up smaller businesses cannot be emphasised enough. I am chatting to some amazing big name businesses as well about getting involved in supporting and sponsoring our incredible columnists. I have FINALLY given a full brief to the amazing Tracey Preston on the new look and feel I am wanting for our rebrand and that should be up and running mid March – squeeeeeee! I may actually explode from excitement that week. And then the relaunch event, which I am considering moving to June, can have my full attention for a while.
On personal development, I am finally properly taking on my anxiety stuff with “Dr” Rob (my amazing therapist). When my mom fell ill last year, my anxiety levels went a bit off the charts. And the stories of yet more hold ups at local malls I frequent and horrible violent robberis in roads I travel regularly, have me getting incredibly stressed and chest-fluttery at the thought of leaving my house, particularly with Charly. While it is partly logical to be nervous of these things, the physical fear reaction I get isn’t quite “normal”. And it is so very important to me that Charly not absorb my fears and anxieties about things; it is her job to rush into life and absorb everything it has to offer and it is my job to not collapse in a heap at the thought of taking her into a shop.So, wish me luck for that!
Brett and I are well, we are finally finding the “new normal” of being parents. Yep, 2 years in. Parenting is no joke and it puts tremendous strain on relationships, no matter how strong and loving they are. My special brand of baby-crazy made this particularly hard for my hubby, but he not only stuck it out with me, but has done his best to support me in any way he could.
Part of that baby-crazy is the fact that I still sleep with and breastfeed Charly. To be fair to myself, we tried and succeeded in day weaning her before mom got ill. And I’m not sure I would still be alive if I had had to actively get up and go to her every 90 minutes for the past 2 years. With school starting, it has delayed the weaning as the advice is not to throw too much at her and give her a chance to adjust to one new thing at a time. It literally makes me want to punch things when I realise that just sounds like excuses, because it really isn’t that for me. I am trying my very very best to do what is right for my little girl, mostly to my detriment. Anyway, her main birthday present is on order and is my way of forcing us into the next step.
It is a very fancy dollhouse double bunk bed, with a desk and bookshelves and an almost little cave area. It is truly incredible, even if we had to dip into our bond to get it for her. It is definitely an investment, as she will easily be using it for the next 6-8 years. Heck, if she doesn’t love it, I will use it. I can’t wait to share pictures of it when it arrives. The idea though, is to play into her “everything is mine” sentiments and make this “her” space – no grownups allowed. We will also have a little mattress next to our bed, so that if she wakes and wants to be close to me, she will have somewhere – that isn’t our bed – to sleep for a little while. You can’t quite understand thought how good I am at building excitement over something I am excited by… or maybe you can if you have ever read the reviews I share with my giveaways – because I only work with brands that blow me away, that contagious excitement hopefully comes through. I plan on using that particular superpower of mine to get Charly to fall in love with her special bed and see it as her magical place.
I am hoping that the sleeping apart will naturally cause a shift away from the breastfeeding too. I will do what I can without doing any damage (I hope). Sheesh guys, this parenting thing is so hard. I need this so badly for myself. I need my body back. I need so badly to sleep next to my husband again, even with his crazy loud snoring. And, as big a reason as any, I really really really want another baby in the not-to-distant future, which I will never be able to do if I don’t feel Charly is ready for that step. It is scary enough for me to contemplate pregnancy again, and childbirth and that recovery – with a toddler no less, without having to worry that she can’t sleep without me or needs to breastfeed still – can you EVEN?! Plus I really feel I need to have my body – and my boobs – back for at least a few months before preparing to give them up all over again. Eesh, am I really going to do this again?! Another post, because it is getting bigger in my mind every day.
Have I left anything out? Probably… besides the actually being awake all night, I am also working from 07h30 every morning til after 11 most nights. So that’s where we’re at. What have you been up to? I really wish somebody would give me a taste of my own rambling and actually respond to that question in the comments 😉
Sending all the love xx