When breastfeeding sucks

I am still breastfeeding my 19 month old daughter. I never thought I would be, although I intended to give it my best try until she was 6 months old; I was just never as gung-ho on the whole breast is best movement as the usual toddler-breastfeeding mom. In fact, it always kind of creeped me to see a toddler breastfed before I had my own (I know I’m not meant to say that “out loud”).

BF Baby COPYRIGHTED

Just one of many things I thought I knew for sure before becoming a parent… Now it seems totally natural and normal, and neither of us are quite ready to give it up yet; even though I am the “last man standing” in my mom group as of last month.

Breastfeeding has been an amazing experience. We have a beautiful bond, she is gorgeous and healthy and smart as hell (if you would like to buy into that being ️thanks to breast milk), and she has never been seriously ill or needed antibiotics. Everywhere you look, you can find endless examples of why breastfeeding is the best thing ever and extended breastfeeding even more so, and it is. But, as with all things, there are two sides to every coin.

What you don’t see very often are examples of when breastfeeding really really sucks; well, that’s about to change…

1) Breastfeeding sucks when you are prone to blisters and blocked milk ducts, still, after 19 months of successful feeding. She latches beautifully, she has no lip or tongue tie, it has definitely not affected her intake or growth, my bits must just be a little defective. I have only been able to breastfeed without any pain for a total of about a month in our entire journey.

2) Breastfeeding sucks when you still have to use breast pads and feeding bras when feeding your toddler – 18 months of not being able to go braless… No experience of that instant all consuming satisfaction or freedom of letting it all hang loose after a long day.

3) Breastfeeding sucks when your toddler starts trying to pull off your top in public as soon as they get sleepy while yelling “booboo doodoo” on top of their very powerful toddler lungs.

4) Breastfeeding sucks when your beautiful child still doesn’t sleep for longer than 90 minutes at a stretch at night because you decided to do “on demand” feeding and don’t feel it’s fair to force wean them for your bad decision making.

5) Breastfeeding really really sucks when you get sick. Firstly, you cannot take any decent medication when you are breastfeeding. Secondly, everybody tells you to “get some rest”… You are a parent to a small human, there is no such thing as rest. Also see point 4… And finally, that little sucker (haha, see what I did there) is taking all the goodness from you for themselves.

There are so many reasons I love breastfeeding my daughter and as I’ve said, I’m not quite ready to let that go. But there are days like today where I feel the need to point out that it is not all sunshine and roses.

Am I the only mommy who feels this way? What are some of the things that make breastfeeding challenging for you?

And mammas, if you love this and relate to it; please please share it using the easy peasy buttons below!!

Sending all the love xx

Comments

  1. says

    I hear you. Breastfeeding has had so many ups and downs for me. We are still going strong, he is three years old. But it is strictly to get him to sleep at night and if he wakes up again at night – not for long it is just a sleep association. My boobs have shrunk quite a lot as well but I still don’t fit into my old bras. It did get a lot better just after he turned two and he dropped the day feeds – that’s when I kind of got my life back. But the sleep thing.. now I wish I had used a dummy but it’s too late. Oh well, at least I never have to look for them!

  2. Kelle says

    Well done – I thought I was doing well at nearly 11 months for my lb! I only made it to 6 months with my first child, but we were both ready to give it up at that time. I think I’m nearly ready to end it now – he has started to bite when he is finished and I think that is where I am going to draw the line. I don’t mind the waking, the other random pain or the bad bras. Time will tell whether he is ready, but the biting is just too much for me. It has been a great journey!

    • Pregnant In Cape Town says

      Well done you! Charly tried the biting but a few hysterical reactions from me cut that off thank heavens; that would likely be a deal breaker for me as well. Good luck with the weaning, let me know how it goes!! x

  3. Janine says

    I am also breastfeeding my 18mth old daughter. She never sleeps through as she wants to drink almost most of the night and of course this leaves me so tired that i just want to fall asleep at my desk. I am so afraid that she would never leave the boob. lol

    • Pregnant In Cape Town says

      Oh honey, I literally feel your agony. Charly wakes every 90 minutes at least and yet we still power on. I also have these fears that she will still be bf at 18 some days 😮
      Sending love and strongs! X

  4. says

    Still going strong at 34 months here. Shame. You’ve really had a tough time! Breastfeeding sucks when your toddler gets lazy and latches badly, leaving your nipples raw for a week. It also sucks when you *need* to get things done (cooking/cleaning, etc) but your toddler wants to/needs to nurse RIGHT NOW. It is still the best mothering tool I have ever been given and I will be sad when it is all over.

    • Pregnant In Cape Town says

      I hear you hun and well done on 34 months!!! My heart aches a little whenever I consider the end, but I feel like there is a moment – for some it happens early and others much later – when it is no longer what is right for you and bubs; when I feel that I hope the heartache will be a little more manageable xx

  5. says

    It was the being touched out that got to me. The constant pawing and clawing…still we made it to 18 months. Mostly because of lazy parenting, it was the easiest way to calm K and get him to sleep. Now we’re done and he doesn’t miss it. The first week was rough, but we’re all happier now (I think).

  6. ramo na says

    Hi .. thanks for sharing. I thought I’m the only ‘bad mum feeling like this. My little girl is 3 going for 4 … and still bf although not much … She def don’t get up in mornings if she haven’t yet had her Bibby …. recently i bought me new non feeding bras .. i feel so good ….
    Although feeling like forcefully wean her off … Ahhh my heart softens when she asks for her Bibby ….
    It is the best thing ever … If you can push through mums ….. bf on demand ….. and allow your little love to wean her himself. The bonding and security you give to that little person …. nothing in this world measures up to it.

  7. Lindsay says

    I hear you Mands, I’m still breast feeding O and it drives me crazy at times. When will she stop? It’s now an emotional attachment. She feels like they are hers, it’s so awkward to even tell people I’m still Bfeeding!! 22 months-I hear you sister!!

    • says

      ❤️ and strongs mama. As tough (and awkward) as it is, we are doing right by them until it becomes too much for us. On that day, I believe it becomes better for them for us to stop, before any resentment or other craziness builds up. Good job on raising an awesome little human ❤️

  8. says

    Such a great (and funny) post Mands! I wanted to breastfeed so badly, but I just could not get it right – not with the help of all the lactating consultants in Cape Town. I feel very guilty about it, but at the same time my kids turned out just fine. Well done for sticking it out for so long! You are such a great mom

    • Pregnant In Cape Town says

      Aww thank you darling one. I kind of hoped that it might make a few mommies who couldn’t manage it realise that it isn’t all happiness and rainbows. I would do anything to take some of that guilt away for even a second. Your children are incredible and gorgeous and strong and smart and I genuinely don’t think that bf makes any real difference to that. <3

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