People lie. Everyone says pregnancy gets “uncomfortable” in the last trimester; there is a big difference between uncomfortable and painful. Everything hurts most of the time – my belly hurts from my beautiful baby doing her gymnastics; my arms, legs, hands and feet are constantly swollen and achy; I’ve had pins and needles in my right hand for 5 days now; my back hurts; rolling over in bed hurts; standing up hurts – everything hurts.
And even after all my yammering on about how it doesn’t help to hear how it will all be worth it in the end and how we shouldn’t feel guilty for speaking out about how we are feeling, most of the time I feel too guilty to say anything because I do feel like saying how physically bad I feel means I somehow love my baby less, so most of the time I sit and cry all by myself about it.
Ok – enough of that. Overall the past week and a half has been a really good one. I have finished all my client work – yaaaaaaaay!! There are still a few tweaks that need to be made to some of the pieces if the client gets back to me by Friday, otherwise the tweaks will be done internally. I have scheduled blog posts, social media posts, staff birthday wishes and created detailed simple handover notes. I am feeling huge relief, especially in light of how badly typing for hours exacerbates the carpal tunnel.
As an aside, did you know – pins and needles in your right hand when you are right handed is a nightmare? It takes me 20 minutes to get a brush through my hair because the brush keeps on falling out of my hand, my spelling has to be checked thoroughly before I can send it to anyone, writing with a pen takes me HOURS, it took me almost 40 minutes to shave my legs and I used to use my hands to leverage myself out of the pillow nest at night…
Charly’s curtains are ordered and paid for; the blinds for the rest of the house are being installed on Friday; all the newborn to 3 month old baby clothes are washed with the special baby products, tumbledried, sorted and packed into her cupboards; I am paying a dear friend to put up the cherry blossom tree this weekend; all the clothing for me and Charly for the hospital has been washed and sorted and added to the hospital bag pile (which I will be packing before the weekend); antenatal classes are done and yesterday was our visit with lovely new doctor (who read my blog which impressed me no end) and we finalised the pre-admissions & are officially booked in for the birth! How’s that for progress.
Brett has also been ill with a crazy fever that scared the heck out of me for 3 days (yesterday included a visit to the doctor for him and he is now on antibiotics & has been assured that it isn’t anything that will affect baby). I have also been suffering from what appears to be dehydration (back to force-feeding myself copious amounts of water), headaches, nausea and the frustration of dying to pee without being able to pee. The increase in water intake already seems to be helping that balance out though, so nothing to worry about.
And then, doctor visit. So, as most of you know it has been close on a month since my last visit due to new doctor setting up the practice and me having a mostly trouble free pregnancy. Heads up for first time mommies, when you are moving from 32 weeks pregnant to 36 weeks pregnant that gap is just that little bit too long. 32 weeks is when baby really starts growing and so everything in your body feels very different from the stretching, to the increase in joint pain, to the change in movement as baby has less room to manoeuvre; all the usual FTM worries become a lot bigger in your mind as all these changes kick in. Add to that the fear that baby is lying in a position that isn’t conducive to a natural birth if that is your first prize and it can all be a little overwhelming. At least it felt that way for me.
In the end, Charly is healthy and happy and bouncing around as always, heartbeat strong, still loads of fluid; she is head down although her head is not at the right angle for now – she is facing to my right as opposed facing my spine – but she has not dropped completely and with the fluid she still has the space and time to move.
And then there is the downside… It appears since our last scan she has had a growth spurt, not all of her (her body has remained perfectly on scale for 36 weeks), just her head (how terrifying is that mommies) and not just a little bit either – her head is now between 38 & 41 weeks in size (to give you some perspective the machines only measure til 42 weeks). The desperate hope is that the rest of her will continue to grow and her head won’t, it apparently happens often enough for it not to be too big a concern (for the doctor at least). Doctor visits are now every week and at our 38 week appointment, we will evaluate whether we will be able to go the natural birth route or whether Charly will be coming by c-section at week 39.
I am having mild panic issues around it all, but I feel sure that next week when I have a little down time to think everything through and process everything that is about to happen, from birth however that might look to being a mom to a newborn, I will begin to find my centre in it all again. And back to good news – Dr Cloete will definitely be delivering my baby, regardless of whether he is on shift or not he has organised that he will be the one to do it – another win for new doctor, to the point that I believe he has earned his name as opposed to “new doctor” from now on.
All in all, a very busy, productive, up and down week. Hoping it will be a lot sooner between posts this time around. I will be trying my new laptop and talking to typing software from next week, so should be fun!