I made it all up. What, you ask? Well all of it. Who I am. What I do. Where I’m at. I made it all up.
Since last week, mommies all over South Africa have watched their babies head off to their first day of school, with tears in our throats and big smiles plastered on our faces. I think the tears are there whether it is the first day of playschool, nursery school, preschool, pre-primary, primary school, high school or university – no matter what their age, they are our babies and a first day of school is another siren making sure we realise, as if watching them alone wasn’t enough, that they are growing up, moving away from us, becoming more of themselves.
I got my first event invitation as the Editor In Chief of Tums 2 Tots last week. While I’ve been to my fair share of great events for Pregnant in Cape Town, it was somehow different to go to the Jungle Oats breakfast as a magazine owner, editor and boss lady type. I was nervous and beyond excited and felt super proud putting on my name badge. I got one of the regular Tums 2 Tots writers, Leigh Geary (of The Mom Diaries fame) to attend with me, keeping me company and “representing” my brand (HOW grown up?!).
The past three weeks have been incredibly challenging, but I can officially say that Charlotte is day weaned. Yes, just day weaned. That may not seem like much to some, but it has felt like a huge thing for us in our little world. The tears and triumphs of weaning my toddler have been extreme; with the most heart wrenching crying from both of us and wins that have left me both proud and with new challenges to face.
Instead of focusing on the tough week I’ve had (I will be reviewing that later once I have a bit of distance), I decided I am going to be sharing and celebrating the good things that I have been up to lately.
As I face the week ahead, my heart is heavy and there are tears in my throat. From tomorrow I start a slow journey to weaning my daughter and I feel shattered over it. As I lie here, breastfeeding my 20 month old to sleep at naptime for possibly the last time, I can’t help wondering, just how many times can the mommy heart break?
So much is written about finding our value in saying no, and as somebody who struggles to say no to anything asked by others, I am so glad it is out there. Having said that, I have recently discovered there is incredible power in saying yes to the right things as well.
I have had a rough couple of months, I have been feeling a little overwhelmed by things and underwhelmed by people and struggling to catch up on all the things on my to do list. I have suffered a few disappointments and struggled with myself over my purpose outside of being a mommy. I have been in need of support and inspiration, and I am blessed enough to have that.
I am still breastfeeding my 19 month old daughter. I never thought I would be, although I intended to give it my best try until she was 6 months old; I was just never as gung-ho on the whole breast is best movement as the usual toddler-breastfeeding mom. In fact, it always kind of creeped me to see a toddler breastfed before I had my own (I know I’m not meant to say that “out loud”).
I have “met” some amazing expecting mommies through this blog; I have gotten to interview them and ask them questions and answer their questions and support them and follow the journeys of those that have their own blogs. And there is one feeling that swells up out of them and every mommy I have ever encountered – Am I going to be a good mommy. Here is my answer to you all…
Last week I received a gift from Dove. I was flattered and I love their products and am a Dove user myself; but all I expected from them was something lovely which I would share on social media.
As most of you know, I have suddenly realised I am behind in the whole finding a school thing. I jumped hastily onto the bandwagon and started reading up on schools, getting suggestions and feedback from friends and family, and my head started spinning.
Most of you will have seen that I am the MOST excited to be a new featured blogger over at the BabyGroup blog.
This week has knocked me on my butt, literally at times. I’ve been extremely stubborn and determined about getting back up though, which I feel is progress. Let’s start at the beginning…